Now, She's Got The Idea

We're driving into the gym parking lot tonight when from the back seat:

"Mom?"

"Mm-hm?"

"You know what I wish?"

"You want to clean your room. You can't wait."

"Mom!"

"Um..ok. You hope I'll get you up early tomorrow morning so you can do your chores before school."

"MOM!"

"You wish that all elephants were named Irwin."

(evil glare through the rear view mirror)

"Ok...ok. What do you wish?"

"I wish that eating candy would give us big muscles and a healthy heart. And I wish that eating healthy stuff would make you really fat."

"But I like healthy stuff. I wouldn't want to gain 10 lbs. if I ate more than one salad a week."

"Well, I've got that problem covered. If you get fat, you can just go have a massage. While the massage is happening, you'd be getting thinner and thinner and healthier and healthier. You'd only need one hour per 5 pounds."

"Really...huh. But massages are pretty expensive. What if someone out there LOVES ONLY VEGETABLES, eats veggies and fruit for every meal, and has a lot of weight to lose? It might cost them a lot of money. What about those people if they can't afford it?"

"In my world there's massage insurance for anyone who wants it."


Folks, I just want to say that this kid?

This kid who just invented the world we all want?

The world where we get massages on a daily basis in order to combat all those salads we might eat?

This kid is mine.


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