Caroline was walking around the house practicing her 'roar'.
Except it didn't sound like a roar.
"Caroline, it sounds like you're throwing up."
"No it doesn't!"
"Yes, it does."
She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, but it sounds like I'm throwing up AWESOME NOISE!"
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
The Difference
So Bin Laden is dead.
I told Caroline the news this morning after she woke up and, despite her being pretty familiar already with the players and events of the war that has lasted her entire life, this led to our summing up together, for converation's sake, the history behind the action taken by our brave special forces yesterday.
At the end of our discussion and summary, I asked her how she felt about this event. Her answer made me sit down and shut up.
"Mom, I'm glad he's gone and I know we had to do it and I'm glad he can't ever hurt anyone else. But I still don't think I will ever like the idea of celebrating and dancing and cheering over someone's death. Even his death. I'm just sad he lived a bad life and hurt so many people."
I feel humbled by her lack of hate. She is a better person than I am. Her entire life has been lived under the shadow of this war. Her father's employment has everything to do with it. She sees hate and fear and glorification of vengeance on a daily basis in our community. She regularly hears applause at the idea of retribution and I admit I haven't been innocent of this myself. And yet, she has managed to maintain her own ideas of what is right; she still recognizes the difference between a pragmatic resolve to end evil action and just plain bloodlust.
I can't believe this kid is ten.
I told Caroline the news this morning after she woke up and, despite her being pretty familiar already with the players and events of the war that has lasted her entire life, this led to our summing up together, for converation's sake, the history behind the action taken by our brave special forces yesterday.
At the end of our discussion and summary, I asked her how she felt about this event. Her answer made me sit down and shut up.
"Mom, I'm glad he's gone and I know we had to do it and I'm glad he can't ever hurt anyone else. But I still don't think I will ever like the idea of celebrating and dancing and cheering over someone's death. Even his death. I'm just sad he lived a bad life and hurt so many people."
I feel humbled by her lack of hate. She is a better person than I am. Her entire life has been lived under the shadow of this war. Her father's employment has everything to do with it. She sees hate and fear and glorification of vengeance on a daily basis in our community. She regularly hears applause at the idea of retribution and I admit I haven't been innocent of this myself. And yet, she has managed to maintain her own ideas of what is right; she still recognizes the difference between a pragmatic resolve to end evil action and just plain bloodlust.
I can't believe this kid is ten.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Looking Forward to the Day She Doesn't Have to Color In the Lines
Sometimes I let Caroline skip school and instead bring her to school with me. She loves UNM, I love hanging out with her, and my professors always make her welcome. It's a treat we indulge in once in awhile.
Yesterday, between my morning and afternoon classes I took her for lunch at the Student Union. We bought our food and went outside to sit at the tables in the plaza so we could soak up the sun and listen to the music; there is always music at UNM, sometimes guitar players or a capella singers and sometimes an actual DJ playing for some charity or other. This time the music was provided by a DJ from the Queer-Straight Alliance. They were drawing attention to one of their favorite causes of late: anti-bullying. So, as one can imagine, the plaza was filled with loud, bass-heavy club beats and techno, and there were a lot of colorfully dressed, colorful-haired dancers dancing in unison all over the plaza and trying to pull passersby in to dance with them. It was a good time, in short, and very entertaining.
But I'm used to seeing this. It's rare to walk on my campus and not hear music of some sort, or to hear speakers on megaphones drawing attention to this or that social or political issue. I don't think much of it anymore, other than to think how fortunate I am to go to such a colorful and relaxed school where the majority of the students are concerned about the world at large.
Caroline isn't used to it, though. She took one look at the dancers with their feathers, beads, short-shorts and exuberant attitudes and said, "Mom, your school isn't ANYTHING like mine. You're like free-range chickens!"
"Free-range chickens?"
"Yes! At my school, we can practically hear the scraping of the metal blades that are coming to grind up the chicks that put a foot out of line!"
Sometimes she surprises me with her astute observations, and I couldn't be more pleased that she's not fooled into thinking that elementary school is how all of her life should be. A willing-conformist, this kid is not.
Yesterday, between my morning and afternoon classes I took her for lunch at the Student Union. We bought our food and went outside to sit at the tables in the plaza so we could soak up the sun and listen to the music; there is always music at UNM, sometimes guitar players or a capella singers and sometimes an actual DJ playing for some charity or other. This time the music was provided by a DJ from the Queer-Straight Alliance. They were drawing attention to one of their favorite causes of late: anti-bullying. So, as one can imagine, the plaza was filled with loud, bass-heavy club beats and techno, and there were a lot of colorfully dressed, colorful-haired dancers dancing in unison all over the plaza and trying to pull passersby in to dance with them. It was a good time, in short, and very entertaining.
But I'm used to seeing this. It's rare to walk on my campus and not hear music of some sort, or to hear speakers on megaphones drawing attention to this or that social or political issue. I don't think much of it anymore, other than to think how fortunate I am to go to such a colorful and relaxed school where the majority of the students are concerned about the world at large.
Caroline isn't used to it, though. She took one look at the dancers with their feathers, beads, short-shorts and exuberant attitudes and said, "Mom, your school isn't ANYTHING like mine. You're like free-range chickens!"
"Free-range chickens?"
"Yes! At my school, we can practically hear the scraping of the metal blades that are coming to grind up the chicks that put a foot out of line!"
Sometimes she surprises me with her astute observations, and I couldn't be more pleased that she's not fooled into thinking that elementary school is how all of her life should be. A willing-conformist, this kid is not.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Exception To Her Eloquence
"Mom? Did you take my glass? I wasn't finished yet. I think you forgot your etickety."
"My 'etickety'? What's etickety?"
"You know, ETICKETY! That book you always say you're going to send Mrs. Brodmerkel because she's rude."
"Ooooh...ETIQUETTE."
"Well, it LOOKS like ETICKETY."
"My 'etickety'? What's etickety?"
"You know, ETICKETY! That book you always say you're going to send Mrs. Brodmerkel because she's rude."
"Ooooh...ETIQUETTE."
"Well, it LOOKS like ETICKETY."
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Today She Realizes Moms Don't Know EVERYTHING
"Mom, I read an article on this sheep that was cloned. Her name was Dolly. Mom? Why did they have to clone a sheep named DOLLY? That's a silly name! Why couldn't it be a sheep named BOB?"
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Circle of Life
This morning around six, Calvin and I woke up to the sound of howling, terror-stricken crying.
"Oooooowww ooohh oowww!" Over and over and over......
We immediately thought, "Caroline!" and we flew out of bed, hearts pounding, sprinting in the direction of her room to rescue her from whatever in hell was ripping her limbs out of their sockets.
But as I passed our bedroom window, something caught my eye and I turned my head just long enough to see what it was.
We had a coyote in our back yard, not 15 feet from the window, tearing the hell out of ....SOMEthing...
That's when I put the breaks on Calvin. Caroline, having woken to the same clamor was already moving and close on the heels of our cowardly cat who was fleeing toward the safety of Calvin's pillow.
It didn't take but a second to enlighten all of us (except the cat, who was unhinged and a goner) on what had been howling and had now ceased the unholy caterwauling. The unfortunate creature was now in the backyard being ripped to shreds by a ferociously hungry coyote.
We watched in fascination for a long time as the coyote finished every little scrap of the hare, including the bones. Did you know that rabbits and hares cry and scream loudly when they're about to die?
As of now the coyote has gone, having nimbly lept back over the wall. The only evidence that there was a chase, a struggle, a snuffing and a feast is the few sad little tufts of fur blowing forlornly about the yard.
This was an opportune time to remind Caroline of how nature works. She took it well when reminded that coyotes have babies that need feeding, too.
And as for myself and Calvin...this served as a reminder that we actually do live in the southwest. The snow days, dead cacti, and subzero temperatures had begun to erase that knowledge from our minds.
Calvin was quick enough to grab the point-and-shoot but the photos of the coyote are barely discernable. I will post what I can salvage, soon.
"Oooooowww ooohh oowww!" Over and over and over......
We immediately thought, "Caroline!" and we flew out of bed, hearts pounding, sprinting in the direction of her room to rescue her from whatever in hell was ripping her limbs out of their sockets.
But as I passed our bedroom window, something caught my eye and I turned my head just long enough to see what it was.
We had a coyote in our back yard, not 15 feet from the window, tearing the hell out of ....SOMEthing...
That's when I put the breaks on Calvin. Caroline, having woken to the same clamor was already moving and close on the heels of our cowardly cat who was fleeing toward the safety of Calvin's pillow.
It didn't take but a second to enlighten all of us (except the cat, who was unhinged and a goner) on what had been howling and had now ceased the unholy caterwauling. The unfortunate creature was now in the backyard being ripped to shreds by a ferociously hungry coyote.
We watched in fascination for a long time as the coyote finished every little scrap of the hare, including the bones. Did you know that rabbits and hares cry and scream loudly when they're about to die?
As of now the coyote has gone, having nimbly lept back over the wall. The only evidence that there was a chase, a struggle, a snuffing and a feast is the few sad little tufts of fur blowing forlornly about the yard.
This was an opportune time to remind Caroline of how nature works. She took it well when reminded that coyotes have babies that need feeding, too.
And as for myself and Calvin...this served as a reminder that we actually do live in the southwest. The snow days, dead cacti, and subzero temperatures had begun to erase that knowledge from our minds.
Calvin was quick enough to grab the point-and-shoot but the photos of the coyote are barely discernable. I will post what I can salvage, soon.
Monday, January 24, 2011
I'll Take Him In XS.
"Mom, Ryan Reynolds is cute. I wish he came in my size." --Caroline, after spotting the actor on the cover of a magazine in the store.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I Thought I Got Rid O'That Guy.
Caroline is following me through the commissary, close on my tail, refusing to come around where I can see her.
She says she's my conscience.
My conscience giggles a lot.
She says she's my conscience.
My conscience giggles a lot.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
The Genie Heard Me!
Today, Caroline came in from her weekly hike with her dad, and as she was taking off her coat said, “Mom, I’m beginning to understand the benefits of taking a nap and I’m growing very fond of them.”
My fellow parents, try not to be too jealous.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Word of the Day: Independence
Caroline has the flu. The vomiting began around midnight last night and lasted until around ten this morning, when of course there was nothing left to throw up, and the poor kid was just heaving miserably.
But sometime around 1am as she was, as she calls it, "performing the technicolor yawn", and Calvin and I were hovering behind her, concerned. I was waiting with a towel to wipe her face and Calvin was holding her glass of water.
Looking back, maybe this attentiveness was a little much though, because this kid does not like to be coddled.
She turned around between heaves and said, "What is this? A spectator sport?".
All right. Point taken.
But sometime around 1am as she was, as she calls it, "performing the technicolor yawn", and Calvin and I were hovering behind her, concerned. I was waiting with a towel to wipe her face and Calvin was holding her glass of water.
Looking back, maybe this attentiveness was a little much though, because this kid does not like to be coddled.
She turned around between heaves and said, "What is this? A spectator sport?".
All right. Point taken.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Should I Worry?
Caroline has taken all 400+ of her books off her library shelves and has stacked them in numerous skyscraping piles around her room.
Calvin asked her what she's doing.
"Don't worry, Dad. I'm sorting my books by genre."
...
Calvin asked her what she's doing.
"Don't worry, Dad. I'm sorting my books by genre."
...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Oh.
Last night:
"Caroline, it's nearly eleven. Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I can't sleep, Mom. My head is filled up and I can't stop thinking."
Sympathetically, "Oh, I'm sorry, honey...do you need to talk? What is it you're thinking about?"
"Chromosomes."
>>
"Caroline, it's nearly eleven. Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"I can't sleep, Mom. My head is filled up and I can't stop thinking."
Sympathetically, "Oh, I'm sorry, honey...do you need to talk? What is it you're thinking about?"
"Chromosomes."
>>
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Dignity Please, Mom.
Teenagers. Caroline just let me know today how she feels about them.
"Mom, you know what? I don't like being around teenagers. Sometimes when the high schoolers walk through our school at the end of the day on the way to the buses, they look at me and the other elementary schoolers and say, 'Awwww, how cute!'.
"That's sweet!"
"No, it isn't!"
"Why not? You don't like it when they compliment you?"
"Mother, I AM NOT A HAMSTER."
"Mom, you know what? I don't like being around teenagers. Sometimes when the high schoolers walk through our school at the end of the day on the way to the buses, they look at me and the other elementary schoolers and say, 'Awwww, how cute!'.
"That's sweet!"
"No, it isn't!"
"Why not? You don't like it when they compliment you?"
"Mother, I AM NOT A HAMSTER."
Friday, June 11, 2010
But Then I'd Have Bigger Problems To Worry About
Caroline and I were in the commissary, walking down the cereal aisle, when I noticed that she had a black smudge on her nose.
What did I do? What all mothers since the beginning of time have done, and what all kids since the beginning of time have hated.
I licked my fingers and used them to wipe her face.
Don't knock it; your mom did it, and you've done it to your kids. But did you or your kids snap back the way Caroline did, much to the amusement of passersby?
"Ewww! Mom! I wish I was a cat! Then you'd have to lick my butt and THAT would teach you!"
No, probably not.
What did I do? What all mothers since the beginning of time have done, and what all kids since the beginning of time have hated.
I licked my fingers and used them to wipe her face.
Don't knock it; your mom did it, and you've done it to your kids. But did you or your kids snap back the way Caroline did, much to the amusement of passersby?
"Ewww! Mom! I wish I was a cat! Then you'd have to lick my butt and THAT would teach you!"
No, probably not.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The White Rabbit
When Caroline was three, she was very well spoken and eloquent for her age, but some words or phrases still escaped her and she was totally capable of completely butchering these and then memorizing the carcass of the said word or phrase, incorporating it into her vocabulary in its new and improved form.
One of those butcherings came as a result of something she heard in Disney's Alice In Wonderland.
The White Rabbit says, over and over, "I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"
But apparently there was a disconnect between what her little ears heard and the way her three-year-old lips could perform the imitation. Her version came out as:
"I'm yate! I'm yate! A-ponna-monna-date!"
So, one of the days on which we were driving the 5 hours down to see my parents, Calvin looked at his watch and said, "Oh, hey, we told your parents we'd be there at --- and I think we're going to be late."
At which point Caroline chimed in helpfully from the back with "I'm YATE! I'm YATE! A-Ponna-Monna-DATE!"
And I gently corrected her, pronouncing each word very slowly and deliberately, "Caroline, honey, it's A VERY IMPORTANT DATE."
FYI: Correcting this kid has never been easy, even on a good day. She drew herself up to the full height she could achieve in her car seat straps and snapped, "That's what I SAID, mommy! A-PONNA-MONNA-DATE!" .
Like, duh!
And she crossed her little arms over her chest and stuck her nose in the air in the direction of the window where she didn't have to look at us trifling, meddling people.
We still do laugh about and use this term of hers. Frequently on the way out to work, Calvin will remind me that he's "yate for a-ponna-monna-date".
And seriously, how hot is a man who has ponna-monna dates?!
I know, ladies. But, hands off. He's mine.
One of those butcherings came as a result of something she heard in Disney's Alice In Wonderland.
The White Rabbit says, over and over, "I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"
But apparently there was a disconnect between what her little ears heard and the way her three-year-old lips could perform the imitation. Her version came out as:
"I'm yate! I'm yate! A-ponna-monna-date!"
So, one of the days on which we were driving the 5 hours down to see my parents, Calvin looked at his watch and said, "Oh, hey, we told your parents we'd be there at --- and I think we're going to be late."
At which point Caroline chimed in helpfully from the back with "I'm YATE! I'm YATE! A-Ponna-Monna-DATE!"
And I gently corrected her, pronouncing each word very slowly and deliberately, "Caroline, honey, it's A VERY IMPORTANT DATE."
FYI: Correcting this kid has never been easy, even on a good day. She drew herself up to the full height she could achieve in her car seat straps and snapped, "That's what I SAID, mommy! A-PONNA-MONNA-DATE!" .
Like, duh!
And she crossed her little arms over her chest and stuck her nose in the air in the direction of the window where she didn't have to look at us trifling, meddling people.
We still do laugh about and use this term of hers. Frequently on the way out to work, Calvin will remind me that he's "yate for a-ponna-monna-date".
And seriously, how hot is a man who has ponna-monna dates?!
I know, ladies. But, hands off. He's mine.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Mother, Painfully Out Of Touch
This afternoon, I was driving Caroline home after her piano practice and I remembered to ask her if she wanted to go to the Sock Hop tomorrow night, where her Dad has been recruited to play Elvis to entertain the kids.
"Yes", she said. "I want to go, even though it's much too late to ask anyone to go with me."
Of course, a "date" hadn't crossed my mind, but I wanted to show that I'm taking her seriously, so I replied,
"Well, that's OK, right? I mean, if you go by yourself, you can dance with whomever you please. That's good thing, huh?"
"Mom!" *sigh* "I don't dance at all!"
"Really? Then why are you going TO A DANCE?"
She gives me this look that most mothers know. You know, the one that says, "You are so OLD and still, YOU KNOW NOTHING." But she condescends to answer me anyway.
"I go for the root beer floats, of course!"
..
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Seemingly Unimportant Moments Are My Favorites
So I'm sitting here on the sofa, checking email, doing homework, pondering why Germany has only one season these days...
...and the silence is broken by a tiny voice in another room.
"Baby Beluga! Baby Beluga! Is the water warm? Is your momma home with you? So happy!"
She's supposed to be sleeping, but she's singing her contentment instead. I'm not even going to stop her, because this? These are the moments I live for. These are the moments that make everything else worthwhile.
And it makes me think of others of those moments throughout her life. Little things she said here and there that were funny or touching or just memorable for whatever reason.
In particular, something that Calvin and I reminisced about the other day was when Caroline was just learning to talk and she was having a lot of trouble with prepositions.
She used to walk up to me if I was sitting on the sofa and say, "Ma-ee, I going to sit at you, OK?"
Or "Da-ee I going to dance by you."
Or she'd take his hand and say "Can I walk on you?"
Well, OK, maybe that last one wasn't a mistake at all.
...and the silence is broken by a tiny voice in another room.
"Baby Beluga! Baby Beluga! Is the water warm? Is your momma home with you? So happy!"
She's supposed to be sleeping, but she's singing her contentment instead. I'm not even going to stop her, because this? These are the moments I live for. These are the moments that make everything else worthwhile.
And it makes me think of others of those moments throughout her life. Little things she said here and there that were funny or touching or just memorable for whatever reason.
In particular, something that Calvin and I reminisced about the other day was when Caroline was just learning to talk and she was having a lot of trouble with prepositions.
She used to walk up to me if I was sitting on the sofa and say, "Ma-ee, I going to sit at you, OK?"
Or "Da-ee I going to dance by you."
Or she'd take his hand and say "Can I walk on you?"
Well, OK, maybe that last one wasn't a mistake at all.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
If I Had A Frozen Heart, It Would Melt
..
"Mom, I just want you to know that I have come to a decision today. I made it while I was taking a break in the middle of Terra Nova testing."
"Oh yeah? What decision did you come to?"
"I intend to be far more interactive when it comes to cuddles and kisses from now on. I intend to fully participate instead of just letting you cuddle and kiss me. I love you."
..
"Mom, I just want you to know that I have come to a decision today. I made it while I was taking a break in the middle of Terra Nova testing."
"Oh yeah? What decision did you come to?"
"I intend to be far more interactive when it comes to cuddles and kisses from now on. I intend to fully participate instead of just letting you cuddle and kiss me. I love you."
..
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Someone Should Have Called Social Services
When I was a kid our pyjamas and blankets were not flame-retardent. GodDAMN we were hard core.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
To Whip Han Solo In A Popularity Contest
Caroline just came in the room and told me, "Mom, I just want you to know that I love you. I love you EVEN MORE than I love Star Wars."
And I didn't even give her chocolate cake for breakfast!
If you knew how much my child loves Star Wars, you'd know just how weighty a declaration that was.
And I didn't even give her chocolate cake for breakfast!
If you knew how much my child loves Star Wars, you'd know just how weighty a declaration that was.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
There Are Not Many Who Would
Caroline came home today and, like always, we headed straight for the sofa where she sat in my lap and began telling me about her day at school. Lately her teacher, Mrs. Shives, has been away due to the ill health of her father, and the kids have had the same substitute for most of the days that Mrs. S has been gone. But yesterday, they got a new substitute and Caroline was gushing over how nice this new substitute is.
"She NEVER yells at us like some of our other subs, Mom! She talks to us instead, and we can tell she likes us a lot! I hope she will aways be our substitute when Mrs. Shives is away!"
"Well, that's pretty good news, Honey. I'm glad your substitute is nice to all of you."
"Yep, she listens when we tell her things too, and she looks at us in the face!"
"Excellent! I'm glad to hear it!"
"There's only one thing wrong with her." Caroline said, shaking her head.
Then she added maganinimously, "But even though it's frustrating, it's not enough for me to want her to be replaced."
"Oh? What's "wrong" with her?"
She paused a second and rolled her eyes...
"She just WILL NOT engage me on the subject of the nutritional value of the cafeteria food!"
..
"She NEVER yells at us like some of our other subs, Mom! She talks to us instead, and we can tell she likes us a lot! I hope she will aways be our substitute when Mrs. Shives is away!"
"Well, that's pretty good news, Honey. I'm glad your substitute is nice to all of you."
"Yep, she listens when we tell her things too, and she looks at us in the face!"
"Excellent! I'm glad to hear it!"
"There's only one thing wrong with her." Caroline said, shaking her head.
Then she added maganinimously, "But even though it's frustrating, it's not enough for me to want her to be replaced."
"Oh? What's "wrong" with her?"
She paused a second and rolled her eyes...
"She just WILL NOT engage me on the subject of the nutritional value of the cafeteria food!"
..
Thursday, February 11, 2010
She Puts The "F" in Fun
..
ME:
Welcome home, Baby! How was your day?
CAROLINE:
It was GREAT! It was REALLY good!
ME:
Oh, yeah? Why was it so great?
CAROLINE:
At lunch, Joey and I spent the entire break chasing boys!
ME, slightly worried, cocked eyebrow:
Um....
CAROLINE:
Oh, don't worry, Mom! It's not like THAT. We were chasing them WITH STICKS!
..
ME:
Welcome home, Baby! How was your day?
CAROLINE:
It was GREAT! It was REALLY good!
ME:
Oh, yeah? Why was it so great?
CAROLINE:
At lunch, Joey and I spent the entire break chasing boys!
ME, slightly worried, cocked eyebrow:
Um....
CAROLINE:
Oh, don't worry, Mom! It's not like THAT. We were chasing them WITH STICKS!
..
Thursday, February 4, 2010
She's Not Buying It
..
Caroline has explained to me, with all the authority she feels she's earned by scrutinizing the Disney Masterpiece Collection, that while Belle and Jasmine are "smart enough not to be embarassing", Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Ariel and Snow White are "empty headed" and "no one but an empty-headed prince would EVER marry them."
Go Caroline! The Cultural Brainwash Machine can SUCK IT!
..
Caroline has explained to me, with all the authority she feels she's earned by scrutinizing the Disney Masterpiece Collection, that while Belle and Jasmine are "smart enough not to be embarassing", Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Ariel and Snow White are "empty headed" and "no one but an empty-headed prince would EVER marry them."
Go Caroline! The Cultural Brainwash Machine can SUCK IT!
..
They Were Pulled By Dinosaurs, Though
.
Yes, Caroline, they did have buses when I was little. Yes, I'm sure.
..
Yes, Caroline, they did have buses when I was little. Yes, I'm sure.
..
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
But My Aunt Had A Bad Case Of Asteroids
..
No, Caroline, I don't think that Hank Azaria took deltoids to get his muscles that big.
..
No, Caroline, I don't think that Hank Azaria took deltoids to get his muscles that big.
..
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
And I've Already Got A Foot In My Own Grave
"Mom, I was reading a National Geographic in school today and I read a story about a baby mammoth that was found frozen in a block of ice near a river."
"Yeah?"
"Yep. It was found a reeeeally long time ago and scientists have been using it to study mammoths."
"What's a "reeeeally" long time ago?"
"Um...I think it said 1999."
...
"Yeah?"
"Yep. It was found a reeeeally long time ago and scientists have been using it to study mammoths."
"What's a "reeeeally" long time ago?"
"Um...I think it said 1999."
...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Unedited 'Bad Santa' Is More His Speed
Watching Scrooge, the musical starring Albert Finney.
Calvin says, "This is going to make me throw up."
Me: Why? It's a musical. They're SUPPOSED to spontaneously burst into song and dance.
Him: It's all the men's legs flying around in colored tights and all the fluttering toes and gushing songs about love.
Me: It's cheerful. I like it. You're ruining it for me.
Him: *sigh* Fine. You're right, it's just great. I feel exuberant and infused with glee.
Smartass.
Calvin says, "This is going to make me throw up."
Me: Why? It's a musical. They're SUPPOSED to spontaneously burst into song and dance.
Him: It's all the men's legs flying around in colored tights and all the fluttering toes and gushing songs about love.
Me: It's cheerful. I like it. You're ruining it for me.
Him: *sigh* Fine. You're right, it's just great. I feel exuberant and infused with glee.
Smartass.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Dear Santa.....
It's late, no doubt, but our little sprout has turned in her Yuletide requisition form. This might be my favorite so far.
The envelope (home made) is addressed to "Santa Claus (maybe?)" and the letter is as follows:
"Dear Santa Claus,
Did you have a good summer in the Bahamas? Is Mrs. Claus okay? Are you real? Because I'm not sure I believe in you anymore, but I'm willing to be convinced. Feel free to answer back in your defense.
In case you are real, here's what I want for Christmas:
1. A new set of Lincoln Logs.
2. The Nintendo Dogs DS game.
3. Better gloves THAT ARE NOT PINK.
4. New Lizzie Maguire PJs. Mom says I have to throw mine out just because they're too small and have holes. I'm hanging on to them as tight as I can and arguing a lot but I'm losing.
5. Another Webkinz THAT IS NOT PINK.
6. A couple hundred bucks.
7. Tickets to Australia.
8. A personal bag of marshmallows.
9. A truckload of animal figurines.
10. A "no homework" pass.
11. A new pen for my DS.
12. Euro.
13. A slingshot.
14. A science lab.
15. A wood working kit.
16. Electronic Hangman game.
17. Apples to Apples
18. A new blue elephant shirt. I'm losing that battle too.
19. A paintball gun.
Love, Caroline
P.S. I'm sorry the list is so long. I hope it's not inconvenient. "
..
The envelope (home made) is addressed to "Santa Claus (maybe?)" and the letter is as follows:
"Dear Santa Claus,
Did you have a good summer in the Bahamas? Is Mrs. Claus okay? Are you real? Because I'm not sure I believe in you anymore, but I'm willing to be convinced. Feel free to answer back in your defense.
In case you are real, here's what I want for Christmas:
1. A new set of Lincoln Logs.
2. The Nintendo Dogs DS game.
3. Better gloves THAT ARE NOT PINK.
4. New Lizzie Maguire PJs. Mom says I have to throw mine out just because they're too small and have holes. I'm hanging on to them as tight as I can and arguing a lot but I'm losing.
5. Another Webkinz THAT IS NOT PINK.
6. A couple hundred bucks.
7. Tickets to Australia.
8. A personal bag of marshmallows.
9. A truckload of animal figurines.
10. A "no homework" pass.
11. A new pen for my DS.
12. Euro.
13. A slingshot.
14. A science lab.
15. A wood working kit.
16. Electronic Hangman game.
17. Apples to Apples
18. A new blue elephant shirt. I'm losing that battle too.
19. A paintball gun.
Love, Caroline
P.S. I'm sorry the list is so long. I hope it's not inconvenient. "
..
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